You'll always find your way back home.

Yes, I know most of you know my dislike for Hannah Montana. But a lot of her songs are very touching. LMAO. But seriously! After going through a hard day I realize that tons of people have the same problems I do, and god is on my side for everything.
So I went to a musical last night, (42nd Street at Memorial HS) and saw my cousin Elaine perform, and she did a good job at it. It made me realize what to strive for in life, and it made me want to run my dreams down and catch them and live them.
Its 12:40PM and I'm a total mess. I haven't taken a shower, or changed clothes, or made my bed. I didn't even complete my to-do list for yesterday. I plan on this summer, and for 2010, to be my year to write an album. I know, your saying, "wtf." but seriously! If I want to be a singer, I should start somewhere, and writing an unofficial album seems like the place to go. I've written my 1st song during summer last year, (its all the time I had) and its about a Lost Butterfly, but it finally finds its way home. I've been planning another song called XOX. This song basically describes my life, and how hard its been to deal with drama and friends and everything else thats been going on. Who know, one day if I sell that song it could make me millions of dollars, and i'd be livin' it up. XD I don't want my album to have a theme, (Listen, I'm not THAT OCD.) But if an album has a theme, is it really coming from your heart? Or are you just fitting it in there to match the rest.
(Hidden meaning intended.)
xoxo
colly(:

P.S. Hey christine, I just wanted to say don't give up, just yet. (: xoxo, Colette.

Just cause everything changing, doesn't mean it's never been this way before.

All you can do is try to know who your friends are, as you head off to the war.
Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light.

Why why why would I ever have chosen to do this? All these fuggin lies! What the hell is wrong with me? Everything I've ever told you is a lie. A lie, a lie, a lie. I don't know why I did this; basically impulse. I think i have a mental disorder. LYING is what 4 year olds do. Not 13 year olds! What the frick do I have to do to start over now? I'll explain everything in a post tomorrow, because I'm on my itouch right now. just know I don't hate myself, I hate what I've become.

Hey Christine, I'm sorry.

Hmm, spring play. bad part.

Hmmm, I'm not trying to be stuck up or anything, but can't he see the true actress inside of me? Collette Spayde, a true musician/actress. I'm stuck with the part of 'Extra Stagehands' with myself and my friend Stephanie H. While the theatre teachers daughter got a main role- again. Maybe its just me, but since I have been a theatre student since, hmm, 2008 shouldn't I have priority to a pretty good part? Just because I messed up at the auditions YESTERDAY, and forgot some of my lines. So what? People deserve second chances- sometimes. I guess it depends what they do- but anywho, I would imagine he would try NOT to pick his daughter. I wonder how many people will drop out? Not me, because I plan to audition for a part next year. Maybe I'm not the best actor around town, but I am certainly not the worst either. 7th grader are ahead of 6th, thats why they are called 7th graders.
I don't feel like I fit in with the rest of the cast. Most of them are to themselves, and others just don't like me already for reasons unknown. I'm truly desperate to switch schools and start over, because the entire label people gave me last year for being Emo is haunting me. I'm seriously, legit, not emo. Nothing against emo people, but I'm just not one of them. Love life sucks, popularity sucks, family drama sucks, and just about everything after that sucks. What do I have to do to get a second chance?
xoxo
colly.

Hey Christine, How much longer will you help me?

Road to Fame

Hmmm, interesting title. (:
Maybe I should make a book? It'd be to obscure to put into words. My absolute DREAM is to become a singer, and I need to start now. I just don't know how to, exactly. I have performed in my school talent show by singing "Heels Over Head" by Boys Like Girls, but thats just about it.
I'm going to the Conservatory of Music on Monday to meet the voice lesson teacher over there, and learn a bit about music. I would like to start producing songs, but I know I'm waaayyyy to young. Doesn't 13 seem a bit too young? I'd at least like to be a Sophomore in high school before I start doing anything with my life, but it couldn't hurt to have a bit of music lesson experience before it, could it?
Today was really boring, as well as the entire winter break. I only ventured out of the house about 4 times, because my mom is so busy preparing for my sister Ann's wedding in October. I have only seen my friends once, and it was for 4 hours on a Tuesday afternoon. I'm not trying to sound like an ungrateful git, but I wish mother could have spent some more time on me, rather than them. This winter break, I would've liked to gone Shopping, Went Ice skating, Have some friends over, and had a few sleepovers. I have done NONE of that, and I only have 2 more days of winter break. I had 2 and 1/2 weeks. Hmm, I sound like a complainer and this is only my first blog entry. Well, this is just an outlook of my 'hard' life, and one day I hope it will be a lot different.
Well, so long for now.(:
xoxoxox, Colette

Hey Christine, Thanks for inspiring me, but I ask myself, is this true?